The Bottomless Pit

How can anyone afford more than one son?

The cost to feed this small mammal is more than the GDP of some nations. The only time my son is not pointing at and requesting food is when he is sleeping. He has once requested food in the bathtub.

I took my children to the dancing fountains at the local mall this weekend. My son had eaten lunch as usual, and had a graham cracker when he woke up from his nap. After about thirty minutes playing in the fountain, I broke out the watermelon I had brought along, as a treat.

With the exception of two pieces of the half a watermelon I had brought, eaten by my daughter, my son had the rest. Swallowed each piece whole.

My friend bought him some ice cream. Each spoonful of ice cream went in his mouth. He swallowed and then readied himself for another spoonful by unhinging his jaw and waiting for the next bite. With each passing spoonful, he got the chills, but it didn't even slow him down.

Then he climbed over the chair to get at the diaper bag, where I keep the other food.

There was a stale piece of fruit leather in the diaper bag, from a previous trip a while back. Perfect, I thought, this would at least slow him down, since the dehydrated stale fruit would be tough to eat.

My son shoved the entire piece into his mouth, found he couldn't chew it well, extracted it and spent 30 minutes with a slimy piece of fruit leather in his hand, chewing away a little at a time.

When he finished with that, he searched the diaper bag again and found some old raisins and crasins. He finished those.

Then he started in on the wooden chairs that lined the plaza.

I thought it best we return home so I could make him dinner before he ate the tires off the cars in the parking lot.