If Only This Blog Went Mach 1

Needless to say, living on a military base means the military is a constant presence in your life, and that presence is a priority. Reminders that your priorities as a civilian are secondary are both subtle and gross. Whether it's the armed guards at the entrance to the base or the checkout lines at stores that give priority to those in uniform, I know that no one will afford me any unique accommodations during my stay here, because my presence here is only due to The Doctor's presence.

But I hear the planes taking off every night. They rattle the windows. They set off car alarms. They cause the neighborhood dogs to break out into a chorus of howls. Surely living with such inconvenience is worth something, no?

I'm not asking for all that much, really. Sometime, somewhere, if conditions are right and everyone is willing, given that I see them everyday and they occasionally disturb my children, I would like the chance to ride in an F-16.

The military calls this an "incentive flight." If Stephen Colbert can do it, why can't I?

So I asked someone who works on the flight line how I go about getting an incentive flight.

"You want an incentive flight?"

"I sure do. Who do I talk to?"

"Are you famous?"

"Um, no?"

"Then you should forget it."

Drat.

So clearly I need to become famous and therefore important enough to grant an incentive flight. I therefore welcome my eighth follower of this blog, and I hope she can bring many more, as I'm going to need a few more followers if I am to credibly assert that I am an internet celebrity.

I can taste that incentive flight already.